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The Ngcaweni and Mathebula conversation. On criticism as Love and disagreeing respectfully.

Busani Ngcaweni wrote about criticism and Love as a rendition to comrades and Comrades. His rendition triggered a rejoinder amplification of its validity by introducing  a dimension of disagreeing respectfully. This is a developing conversation and could trigger other rejoinders. The decision to think about issues is an event. Thinking is a process in a continuum of idea generation. Enjoy our first grins and bites; see our teeth.

Busani Ngcaweni writes,

 

I have realised that criticism is neither hatred, dislike, embarrassment, nor disapproval. Instead, it is an expression of Love, hope, and elevated expectation—hope that others can surpass our own limitations and expectation that humanity might achieve greater heights through others.

 

It is often through others that we project what we aspire to refine and overcome. When I criticise you, I do not declare my superiority but believe you can exceed my efforts and improve.

 

Thus, when we engage in criticism, it generally arises from a place of care—a profound desire to witness others transcend our accomplishments, for we tend to expect the least of ourselves.

 

Consider the immense criticism Winnie Madikizela-Mandela endured. Yet, in the end, she proved to be greater than the narrow imaginations of her harshest critics and most unrelenting detractors.

 

Those who face no criticism often underperform, lulled into complacency by illusions of universal praise.

 

And so, I must criticise you further—not out of disdain but out of hope and expectation. I believe you can do more, and I invite you to do the same for me so that ideas may flourish and we may all become better versions of ourselves.

 

In essence, constructive criticism is a mirror in which we confront our shortcomings and use them as raw material for growth and transformation. It's not about tearing down but about building up. It's about pointing out areas for improvement, not to belittle but to inspire growth.

 

To reject constructive criticism is to reject learning itself, narrowing the horizons of wisdom by refusing to unlearn what requires rethinking.

 

Out of Love for my community, I criticise the landlords of Inanda, who have sold land irresponsibly to build informal dwellings, and the inept city authorities and police, who seem incapable of addressing the twin crises of grime and crime engulfing the township.

 

Constructive criticism is not dissent but a profound act of commitment. One does not critique what one is indifferent toward—indifference allows decay to persist, even as it hurtles toward ruin.

 

Great coaches criticise their players when they underperform. They then field them the next day, hoping for better outcomes because they have faith in them, not hate.

 

Yes, intentions do matter: to build (constructive criticism) or to pull down. However, many people become stronger even after being criticised. 

 

Above all, politicians must recognise that criticism is inevitable when a nation's socioeconomic conditions deteriorate—both from those who elected them and those who did not. They are neither money nor honey; they cannot expect universal adoration. The same holds for managers: subordinates, clients, and stakeholders have the right, indeed the duty, to criticise as a reflection of their dedication to the organisation's success.

 

Wishing you all a productive 2025, comrades and Comrades. Let's be patient but honest with each other. Continue to be critical. Let a hundred flowers bloom in RSA; they may loot your garden long before those flowers see the light of day.

 

Peace to be with you all!

 

FM Lucky Mathebula writes a rejoinder,

 

In criticising, we respectfully raise our disagreement. The general reaction of those we criticise with Love is to see hostility in the criticism. To them, criticism is only complete when seen in binaries of us, me, and them. It can only be reasoned as tension.

The new approach, which respects, promotes, protects, and fulfils the rights of all humanity to express a different view, sees Love in criticism. The art of respectful disagreement is not the inverse of criticism with Love, yet it converses therein. It is the skill, and arguably also an attribute, humanity needs to interact with difference. It's about acknowledging that we can have different opinions and perspectives and still treat each other respectfully and understanding.

As a society that knows how to be tormented by state power, malfeasance by those entrusted with power, and exploitation by the economically powerful, we should have in our thinking muscle memory criticism with Love and respectful disagreements as traits. This would require pivoting from erecting walls to building bridges, from sowing divisions to nurturing unity, and from evidence denialism to truth-embracing.

The posture of our nation's dominant political formations should have an inclusive mindset, vision, and ideas that come from apart as the point of departure for any discourse. Diverse perspectives, social justice, the dignity of the other, and mainstreaming marginalised voices are not just ingredients but the very fabric of a context where criticism with Love and respectful disagreement thrives. Each voice is a valuable contribution to the conversation.

Criticism without Love, a function of disrespectful disagreement, relies not on evidence and truth but on false assumptions and deceit. It generates rage and dehumanises those involved. In politics, including in corporate boardrooms, those involved should seek genuine alignment for the sake of civility. Disrespectful disagreement, on the other hand, is about tearing down the other person, not their argument. It's about winning at all costs, even if it means resorting to personal attacks or deceit.

Our views on respect need reframing. Respect falls into those domains of human co-existence where we rely more on what others before us codified it to be. It often comes as a package with culture and tradition and is thus a practice that always shrinks modernity into its demands. But what if we could redefine respect and criticism? What if we could see them through multiple lenses, generating alternative value judgements with which we can respectfully disagree as we criticise with Love? This reframing could open up new possibilities and ways of thinking.

Old frames of respect and criticism often lend humanity to a condition that when it does not know what to do or how to respond, it does more of what it knows. Consequently, humanity constructs its prisons of respect and then locks itself in. Respect and criticism, as a circumstance, should, as a rule, be thought through multiple lenses to generate alternative value judgements with which we can respectfully disagree as we criticise with Love.

Multi-frame thinking requires moving beyond narrow, mechanical approaches for understanding criticism and respectful dialogue. It is essential to understand that when we respectfully disagree with others or criticise them with Love, we are doing something for them and ourselves by acknowledging our shared humanity.


All dialogue about ourselves as a nation would require reframing a lot of what we might have erroneously categorised as the given values of our proverbial geometry of challenges. The givens of our society might be the templates we must first interrogate if they are truly givens. 


Enjoy the national dialogue year. 

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